Expectations and Silent Contracts

We all have expectations, it normal. Yet having expectations can keep us stuck and disempowered. That is why I want to share with you how you can shift your expectations into something that serves you better.

But first, how do you know you have or had expectations towards yourself, a situation or a person? First clue is when you feel disappointed. The other clue is when you are in a waiting game for someone to take care of your needs.

Here is an example:

You need a date night with your husband because you want to reconnect alone without the kids. It’s been months since you guys had a date night, and the last one you had planned, actually the last few ones you had planned. So you decide that he should plan the next one and that if he loves you and if you are important he should want a date night and make it happen. So you wait and wait and get frustrated and frustrated as weeks pass. You end up being disappointed and resentful that he did not plan anything.

In this example two things are going on. Number one, you are in the waiting game, waiting for someone else to take care of your needs. Your Expecting your husband to have the same need then you, if he loves you and if you are important he should want and need to plan a date. The second thing is what we call in Fearless Living : Silent Contracts, this is an agreement we make with someone, but oops, we actually never told them about it. Your expecting the other to be a mind reader.

How to shift Expectations? In fearless living we believe that shifting expectations into intentions is a great tool that will better serve you. For example in this case the intention could be “I am willing to practice connecting with my husband”, if you set that intention you would probably be more willing to plan that date, because in the end your need is to connect, feel love and important so does it really matter who plans the date if he shows up and you guys connect?

How to shift Silent Contracts? Replace them with agreements, let others in on what you would need from them, then they can choose to agree to do what you want or not . You can find a common ground that works for bought of you. In this example you could tell your husband that it would really mean a lot for you if he would plan a date night for you guys this Friday, would he be willing to do that?

Expectations are telling you that you have needs, which is a good thing, yet staying in expectations is a guessing game if your needs will be taken care of or not. If you shift to intentions and act on them and break silent contract with agreements, you are taking responsibility for your own needs and I guarantee you that you will feel more empowered regardless of the outcome.

#expectations #selfgrowth #empowerment #selfcare #intentions #liveyourbestlife